He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
