when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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