You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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