I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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