the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
