When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
