Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
