Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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