thus making me awesome and them whores
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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