Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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