sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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