mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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