Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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