Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
