why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize