Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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