Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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