So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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