So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
