The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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