If that was your dad, he is hot
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Panties = found
Randomize