I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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