Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
