the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
