God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
