Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
