He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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