Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize