I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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