he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
