everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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