Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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