wat bout pragnant strippers??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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