I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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