Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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