No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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