By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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