i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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