he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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