She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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