so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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