OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
