So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
