Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize