What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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