What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize