sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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