Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
