I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
