you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
