I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
