ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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