just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
