he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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