i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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