how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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