I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
