So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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