She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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