Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
