Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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