All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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