I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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